Sunday, October 21, 2012


Passive Voice, Abstract Subjects, Linking Verbs

On Wednesday, January 26th in Beasley Coliseum I got the opportunity to watch Greg Mortenson speak about his life, books, and efforts to create better schooling for people in the Middle East. And on Tuesday, March 22nd I gotthe chance to listen to Sharon Trautwein speak about her trip to Nepal and the journey she went on to help improve women’s empowerment in that part of the world.

Both of these speakers’ messages were related in how they both worked hard to make a difference in the lives of women and their schooling in third world countries. Trautwein visited Nepal, one of the poorest countries in the world, to help build safe housing for women who wanted to further their education but did not have a safe place to live. The hotel she went to help build will be like a dorm for these girls who will no longer have to walk miles to school in fear of being kidnapped. Mortenson spoke about a similar topic and how young boys are more likely to receive education then young girls. Females are not always given the opportunity to start education, let alone peruse going to college. Trautwein said she initially became inspired to make a difference after reading Greg Mortenson’s book, “3 Cups of Tea”.

Similar issues are going on in Afghanistanand Nepal. Mortenson said that pregnancy rates are directly related to women receiving education. Over the past years women in Afghanistan have reduced their number of children from 8-9 to only 2-3 births. Trautwein added to this as she pointed out that educated women have fewer children, and it strengthens the economy by 3%. Her hopes are that the new housing for women to go to school will help continuing the decrease in pregnancies as well as improve the poverty in this country. Trautiwein added that 7 out of 10 girls do not go to college.

These issues can relate to me because I’m a female college student in the United States. It makes me see how great of an opportunity I have had to have started school at a young age, and even more so that I have been able to further my education by going to college. The video, “The Girl Effect”, that Trautwein showed during her presentation helped me to see that women living in poverty deserve the opportunity to go to school just as much as anyone else does, and there are ways to help. I also liked the proverb Mortenson used to sum up the problems our world is facing; “Only when it is dark we can see the stars”.
Revisions using the Lanham method


I got the opportunity to watch Greg Mortenson speak about his life, books, and accomplishments in the Middle East. I also got the chance to listen to Sharon Trautwein speak about her trip to Nepal. Trautwein spoke on her journey to help improve women’s empowerment.

Both speakers worked hard to make a difference in the lives of women and their schooling in third world countries. Trautwein visited Nepal, one of the poorest countries in the world, to help build safe housing. Women in Nepal wanted to further their education but did not have a safe place to live. Trautwein helped build a dorm for these girls who will no longer have to walk miles to school in fear of being kidnapped. Mortenson spoke similarly about how young boys are more likely to receive education then young girls. Females are not always given the opportunity to start education. Trautwein said she has been inspired by Mortenson.

Similar issues are going on in Afghanistanand Nepal. Mortenson said that pregnancy and educaiton are related. Women in Afghanistan have reduced their number of children from 8-9 to only 2-3 births. Trautwein pointed out that educated women have fewer children, and it strengthens the economy by 3%. Her hopes are that the new housing for women to go to school will help continuing the decrease in pregnancies as well as improve the poverty.

I’m a female college student in the United States so I can relate. I see how great of an opportunity I have had to have started school at a young age and to further my education by going to college. The video, “The Girl Effect”, that Trautwein showed during her presentation helped me to see that women living in poverty deserve the opportunity to go to school and there are ways to help. I also liked the proverb Mortenson used to sum up the problems our world is facing; “Only when it is dark we can see the stars”.


(This method helped me see how many unnecessary sentences I throw into my writing. Much shorter! Wow!)

1 comment:

  1. uh-oh. I see you're still struggling with identifying passive voice, etc. and with the Lanham Method more generally. While the film did encourage us to cut out lard, we don't want to take out ideas we want to keep in there. So the point isn't to write shorter papers but papers with stronger sentences, stronger because they use vivid verbs, usually in active voice.

    In any case, thank you for giving this last blog your best shot!

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